I remember it like it was yesterday – July of my PGY3 year, sitting on an inviting blue velvet couch in the office of my new CBT supervisor, light streaming through the skylight, and a large potted plant in the corner with a defiant side-shoot making it’s way steadily up the side of a bookshelf. Toward the end of the hour she let me know that if I ever needed to speak with her about a patient emergency after 5pm or on a weekend, I should page her, not email, as she never checks her email from home. I stared at her slack-jawed, Never checks email from home?? How is that even possible? I was shocked, but intrigued. With a warm smile she explained that home time was family time, and email was not a welcome guest. When I later reflected on my incredulity, I realized that I had become accustomed to faculty checking and responding to email 7 days a week, at all hours of the day and night. That seemed to be the norm, so that’s what I did too, without really giving it a second thought. Especially as a resident, it seemed if I never checked email outside of “work hours,” I would literally NEVER have time to reply to emails. And so, without quite realizing what was happening, I developed an “addiction” to email. It was the last thing I would do before going to sleep, and the first thing I would do upon waking. Without even thinking about it, my thumb would tap the email icon on my phone, drawn as if by magnetic force, dozens if not hundreds of times per day. And once I tapped it, whoosh, I’d be instantly sucked in, pulled away from being present in whatever I was doing, whether sitting in a meeting, having a conversation with my husband, or even lying on a beach, “relaxing.” Being constantly connected to email translated to constantly thinking (or worrying) about work, with my “To Do” list marching through my mind like an ever-present news ticker. I came to realize that email “addiction” is a major threat to well-being. As the amount of work-free mental space got smaller and smaller, it became progressively more difficult to be fully present with loved ones, and to truly relax and re-charge, even when on vacation. I would go into my vacations with the best of intentions, indignantly announcing, “I’m not going to check email on this vacation!” But there it was, the little email icon at the bottom of my phone, taunting me, tempting me. My frontal lobe was no match for the reflexive habit of tapping that button. Even when out of the country with only intermittent wifi access, when accessing my personal email account for travel correspondence, I couldn’t help but see my work emails pop up: “349 unread messages.” And I would think, I’ll just scan through to make sure there’s nothing important, or let me just quickly delete the junk so it’s not as overwhelming when I get back. Inevitably I would see something that would get my mind running, and we were off to the races. It could take hours to clear my head again and stop thinking about work. On this most recent trip I decided to try something different: a 100% email-free vacation. A real “email holiday.” This time, I went into my settings on my phone and computer and actually clicked off my work email account. With that, my entire work account and all the emails with it instantly disappeared from my devices. Now, if my thumb absent-mindedly drifted to that button, all that was left was my personal email account. It was, I admit, a bit unsettling (but what if they need me for something??) I had to remind myself that the world would indeed survive for 9 days without me. As the days passed by, I did notice a distinct difference – I was more relaxed, and found that I truly was not thinking about work. Also gone was the “work creep,” the experience of work stress seeping into the last couple of days of a vacation, casting a shadow of dread and worry. Upon returning, on Monday morning I clicked my work email account back on, and all my emails re-loaded onto my devices like they had never been gone. Bracing myself, I cringed as I opened my eyes to my email from the past week, and discovered that indeed, everyone really had survived without me. Amazing. Allowing ourselves to take email holidays, whether over a vacation, on a weekend, in the evenings, or even simply while waiting in line for our morning coffee, can have incredible benefits. In order to be our best selves at work, we also need time away from work, and having this time to clear our heads and re-charge is so important to maintaining well-being. Our loved ones will benefit when we are fully present with them, undistracted by devices or stray thoughts. And our trainees, who are also equally (if not more so) chained to their devices, will benefit, as we role model this behavior of setting boundaries around work and protecting personal time. I was dismayed to realize that trainees expected us to see email at all hours, and who can blame them when I’m shooting off quick responses at 11p? But this is what pagers and cell phones are for – if there’s something urgent, we should train our trainees to know that that’s how they should reach us. In a world where we are constantly connected, email holidays may be a “wellness intervention” worth trying. Heather Vestal, MD, MHS Associate Program Director MGH/McLean Adult Psychiatry Residency Training Program
AAP Bulletin – Summer 2016, Page 6 of 7
